Friday, August 12, 2005
♥ mt o levels
MT O levels resultstime:1245
venue:SACSS hall
this is where all the graduating classes were at this time.all so anxious to get their 1st o level results back.just like any other kid,i was anxious too but scared.i knew i did my best but my best wasn't enough.i wanted a distinction so badly.the people around me were expecting a distinction from me too.but somehow i let all of them down.what did i get for my malay o levels?a C6.shocking huh?i was shocked too.the worst that i expected to get was a B4.mid year was an A2.So i guess i drop 4 grades down while others improve 2 grades up.at that point of time i didn't know what to do.all i could do was to cry.i can hear the people around me cheering and crying tears of joy.i know that i've let alot of people down.i'm sorry.i really am.but don't you all think that i'm more disappointed in myself than you all are in me?the results hit me like a thunder bolt.it made me speechless.its like a disaster that had just struck me.i mean how would you feel when you are a distinction student and you suddenly get a C6?its like a great blow to me.i never get this bad for malay before.i regret not doing better but whats the use of crying over spilled milk?i'm truly disappointed in myself.never felt this angry with myself before.i'm retaking my malay o levels.this shall be a lesson and a wake up call for me.my life is getting stressful each day.now even my best subject seem to be hopeless.this make my life even worst.i guess no one will ever know how i feel right now.its a mix feeling of anger,disappointment,lost confidence and hatred for myself.i wish i could turn back time.but i thank god i didn't fail it..i don't know what i'll do if i fail.maybe i'll kill myself.today some friends are scared that i might end up doing something stupid.i still can't accept the fact that i got a C6.i wish all of this was a dream
internal Kooby-ians + Charmainethanks for being there when i needed you guys.thanks for being there to lend me a shoulder to cry on.sorry for making you all worry just now.i guess i cried really badly huh?i cry till my eyes swell.anyway thanks for the encouragement and thanks for not giving up on me.
thank you to those who were there to console me.it didn't really help but thanks for making an attempt.
